Ian's Marcon (I-wish-went-to-E3-instead) Sketchpad 2002 Vol.1 'Important Con Lessons'
[[Ian and Anthony in a car, with Anthony driving.]]
Anthony: I'm an excellent city driver. Hell, I'm a car-ninja!! See that parking space?! I'm there!! The driver next to us? Dead!!! You didn't hear anything! No one did!!!
Ian: I think I want to get out now.
Lesson 1: Anthony scares me
[[A round man with fake wings on his back is shown behind Ian and Anthony.]]
Anthony: There are no wings big enough.
Lesson 2: Beware cosplaying fat people
[[The closed doors of an elevator is shown.]]
<<Ding>>
[[The elevator doors are open and reveal a happy Ian doing a dance move with arms pointed diagonally outwards.]]
[[The closed elevator doors again.]]
<<Ding>>
[[The elevator doors are open and show Ian doing a different dance move, he is bent backwards as if he is about to kick his leg out.]]
[[The closed elevator doors again.]]
<<Ding>>
[[The elevator doors are open and show Ian doing another dance move, perhaps the Russian boot dance.]]
[[The closed elevator doors again, but this time Ian is shown having been thrown out of the elevator.]]
Lesson 3: When on a crowded elevator full of large, tired, ripe con attendants, take up as little space as possible, not as much as you damn well please.
Lesson 4: There is a hierarchy among gamers. Upon arrival to a con, people feel better about themselves by finding someone more outrageous and less attractive than themselves. This explains why the old guy, dressed as SAILOR MOON, always looks so depressed year after year.

Written by Anthony sort of, art by Ian McConville