[[We now interupt our current story arc with Things I've Learned While Playing Final Fantasy XI by Ian McConville]]
[[Malakym is shown with a tear-streaked face wearing "Leather Trousers" that are actually black undies.]]
Malakym: All I want is pants! How much must I suffer for one decent pair of pants?!?
Lesson 1: Pants don't exist. No matt how much the item may sound like it could be pants, it won't. Deal with it.
Random knight: <...And to celebrate my 600th level I treated myself to a two million dollar sword of etherial-ass-kicking +3 and son of a gun if it didn't get a ding the first time I used it.>
Random mage: <Chin up o'l chap, toss that dagger and let's head to the market to get you a new one. We can ride my pet dragon.>
Lesson 2: The Japanese players are better than you.
Malakym: Poop icon.
[[Ian is shown playing video games and chatting.]]
Sagus: Jeebus, Ian. Are you still playing? It's been three days.
Sagus: Ian?
Sagus: ...Heeeelloo, anyone home?
Malakym: Daddy?
Lesson 3: Be careful to plan ahead and make sure you don't have anything you need to get done for a while... like sleep.