[[Ian stands in front of a large red curtain with his hands in his pockets, calmly speaking to an unseen audience, viewers of the comic]]

Ian: Recently I decided to only draw comics on weekdays and take Saturday and Sunday off.

Ian: Various people here in the hall have expressed their distaste for this so called "lazyness."

[[Ian raises an arm to present another speaker]]

Ian: As a representative of these people John will be speaking on their behalf...

[[John, the Bush-lover wearing a blue cap and Republican elephant shirt, excitedly stands in front of the red curtain with a bag of golf clubs on his back and a golf club raised in the air]]

John: I'm Saint Ignatious! Listen to me bitch! bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch (etc.)